No not condemned, rather I have been freed in some way, I can dive into the deepest ocean with no need for breath. My mind finally clears away the stress of the day. I may have missed my evening swim today with great pangs of regret but I finally found myself floating along on my back in that moment.
(Content disclosure: the next paragraph contains much dreary dribbly ranting so feel free to skip to the last more solitary sentence)
You see there is only so much work you can physically do by COB and putting more infront of me isn't helping me get through the other stuff that's so urgently needed. And as for the whole preparing for the O/S trip... there is only so long you can look through the same small one bedroom apartment for a wad of Japanese Yen without going completely and utterly bonkers scratching the walls down. Yes I looked everywhere a million times, desperately tearing at the same spots on the bookshelf, table, drawers, boxes of papers etcetera etcetera... yes I looked in the biscuit jar, the tagine pot and even within the cases of the dvds and amongst the rolls of spare toilet paper and laundry powder. Yes it was finally found close to midnight and yet with all that built up angst no cup of tea, glass of red wine or soothing piece of classical music will cut it. A random track on the ipod provided a little relief with a mind numbing dance track that put some groove back into me and enabled me to finally stumble into a shower and to bed...
I promise not to rant on and bumble about such boring things much more here, this is meant to be a forum for my more pondered thoughts rather than stressed out ramblings...
... and so I close my eyes and return to the ocean ...
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